This one is part of a larger framework called “NEPA”, which I have probably talked about before in this blog (or you’ve heard me say it in person), and I’m sure I’ll talk about it a lot more in the future because it was a life-changing bit of knowledge for me.  NEPA is something they taught us in the OPEX CCP.  It stands for:

N = Noticing

E = Explaining

P = Prescribing

A = Actioning

I’m only going to talk about the “N” today, but the others are all suitable topics for future blogs I’m sure. “N” is noticing, and it is a much larger concept than it seems at first because it truly encompasses all our senses and our instincts.

I acknowledge all the 5 senses that are typically spoken about: sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch; but I also recognize a 6th sense, which is an energetic awareness of your surroundings (such as the sense that you are being observed).  When someone is looking at your back from across the room, you can feel it, and will often turn to see where that intense observation is coming from.  Your other 5 senses had nothing to do with that.  You can test this sometime while driving through town.  Simply stare at people as you drive past and see how many of them turn to look at you, even though there was no way their other senses could have told them you were staring (trust me, no one will think you’re a weirdo).

I think there is also a 7th sense, which is the heart sense or the gut sense (maybe those are two different things, I’m not sure).  This is that sense of right and wrong you get about a choice or a situation.  This is the “vibe”, the feeling, the instinct.  This might actually just be deep, behind-the-scenes neural processes happening in the blink of an eye, but I consider it a sense.  It tells you when things are good or when they are not good.

There may even be other senses that are not accounted for here.  That’s not for me to know.  The point is, you can’t ignore any of them.  All of your sensory perceptions are intended to give you critical survival information.

• Your eyes can see danger approaching from very long distances, or see teensy tiny dangers directly in front of you (like the particular markings on that spider that’s crawling your way).
• Your hearing can tell you what’s around the corner long before you get to where that thing is visible.
• Your taste can tell you if something is poisonous or might at least give you a gut ache (much of the time).
• Your sense of smell can tell you about gross things that you probably want to avoid, or about the presence and activities of other creatures in your vicinity.
• Your touch sense can tell you about things that might cut you or irritate your skin, or even variations of temperature that might cause you discomfort, pain, or death (freezing, burning, etc.).
• Your energetic awareness can tell you if you’re alone or not, if you’re being followed, hunted, or tracked.
• Your heart sense, gut instinct, or feeling about the vibes can tell you if the person you’re talking with is up to no good, or if the choice you’re about to take probably has bad consequences at the end.

These senses don’t just help protect us from danger, but they also attract us to what is good: Our eyes see beauty; our ears hear melody; we taste delicious food; we’re attracted to pleasant smells; we enjoy the feeling of certain textures and are comfortable at certain temperatures; we are attracted to the energy of certain people; and some situations just feel right.

With all this important information coming at us all the time, we can’t possibly notice all of it, so our brain filters most of it.  We separate signal from noise.  This is why I notice the smell of poopy diapers as soon as I walk into the day care, but the people who have been working there all day do not notice it.  This is why people who live in Kolkata are not bothered by the constant blaring of car horns.

With all that filtering going on, it just makes the signals that get through even more important.  When you actually do notice something as significant, that means that piece of information, that sensory perception, stands out from all the background details that you didn’t notice.

• When you see something that is out of place, fix it; when your eyes are attracted to something beautiful, look closer.
• When you hear violence and discord, walk the other way; when you hear a pleasant sound, draw nearer.
• When you taste poison, spit it out; when your mouth is pleased by nutrient-filled goodness, take another bite.
• When you smell poop, don’t step in it; when you smell flowers, share them with your wife.
• When your clothes don’t feel comfortable, give them away; when the weather feels just right, go be outside.
• When you feel eyes on the back of your head, figure out whose eyes those are and whether they wish you well or wish you harm.
• When you notice something just isn’t right, don’t do it; but when you notice something feels right in so many ways, get more of that.

The point is, the things we notice are important and worthy of investigation.  Trust your noticings and follow up on them.  See what they can teach you.  Don’t ignore the things you notice.

This is something in life that I have learned; that sounds so simple yet can be so difficult; that is essential to accomplishing your goals, to improving health & fitness; that is essential to growth: You have to give yourself permission to change. 

I Did It

This is me being authentic and vulnerable and honest here.  I have had a lot of change in my life, and it never comes easy.  I’m one of those people who listens to Biggie say, “damn right, I like the life I live, ’cause I went from negative to positive,” and it hits me right in the gut and brings tears to my eyes.

I was once a guy with a bad attitude, a really messed-up negative outlook on life.  I was aggressive, criminal, violent.  I had bad habits and addictions.  I did a lot of self-destructive and anti-social things on the regular.  But all that was able to change when I gave myself permission to change.

• I had to recognize that things needed to change.
• I had to recognize that I was able to change, that change was possible.
• I had to make a decision to change.
• I had to say goodbye to situations that brought me back to the old ways I was trying to change.
• I had to say goodbye to people who didn’t allow me to change.
• I had to build a new life, a new environment that was conducive to the changes I was creating in myself.
• I had to be single-minded about it and push through until I got to the other side.

None of this was ever easy.  It took a ton of discipline and willpower.  Whether it was getting in shape or quitting drinking there was always physical and emotional pain involved.  There was also the pain of leaving behind friends or activities that had once brought me joy.  There were naysayers to ignore and self-critical thoughts to push away.  Change isn’t easy.

Now You Do It

If you’ve said, “I want to get fit,” or, “I want to quit,” or, “I want to go back to school,” then you’ve already done the first step: recognizing the need to change.  If you can verbalize a complaint, that means your mind has already seen an incongruence between how your world actually is and how you want it to be.  And, you’ve put it into words, so that means you have consciously acknowledged the problem and now have some impetus to change it.

Now you need to give yourself permission.  You changed from an infant who pooped in diapers to an adult who uses the toilet, and how hard was that?  (Yes, I am potty training a child right now.) You changed from a kid with no skills to an adult with talents and abilities. You’ve already been able to change a lot of things in your life.  You are not a static being: You are dynamic.  You are changing from moment to moment. Your cellular makeup and biochemistry and synapses in the brain, it’s all in a constant state of change.  Why shouldn’t your attitudes about yourself be able to change?  Why shouldn’t your habits and behaviors be able to change?  You can, and if you’ve recognized that you need to then you ought to.

You know something needs to change.  You know you are able to change.  But nothing will ever happen until you decide it’s time to do it.  Give yourself an ultimatum, or a deadline, or bundle the desired change with some other big milestone or event in your life.  You might say, “I’m quitting sugar on my 50th birthday,” or, “When we go on vacation, I’m changing my hairstyle to a mohawk.”  Tell the people you love and trust about this decision you’ve made.  If they’re the right people to have around, they’ll support you and help keep you accountable to your choice.

You’re making a major change in your life, but nothing ever exists without context.  No man is an island, as they say, and nature abhors a vacuum.  So, whatever bad habit or old mindset you are trying to change, it has a home, a context in which it lives.  Maybe the context is a certain activity you once liked to do, but it came with too much baggage.  Maybe it’s a place you once loved to go, but the things that happen there aren’t for you anymore.  Maybe it’s the couch in your living room.  Time to say goodbye.

You’re probably going to have to cut some people off as well.  This is the hardest part about making major changes in your life.  People can be good and supportive and loving, but they can also be abusive jerks: Depends on the people you’re hanging out with.  Some of you have jealous parents who never want to see you do good because they think it makes them look bad.  Some of you have friends who always called you the “fat guy” and won’t ever let you live that down.  If you want to do better and you believe in yourself, but they don’t believe in you, then you’re gonna have to say bye-bye, at least for the time being.

Now go build your new world.  As we don’t live in a vacuum and our habits or behaviors don’t live in a vacuum, this new change you’re trying to make doesn’t come by itself either.  You might need a new place to hang out, or a new hobby, or a new couch, or new friends–you need to create that new environment for the new behavior to live in.  Sometimes this is as simple as finding a new grocery store to shop at, but for some people it means moving to a new town (or new country), buying all new clothes, and changing their name.

Put your head down, do the work, and don’t stop until you get there.  For some changes, this is easier done than said, but sometimes it is easier said than done.  Whatever the magnitude of the change you are trying to make in your life, you’re going to need to commit and take action–consistent action–take the same action repeatedly until the change can become permanent.  You’re going to encounter doubts, you’re going to have nostalgia for old feelings and places and people that went along with the old you, you’re going to feel weak at times, or self-conscious, but you’ve committed to something true and important and you can’t quit now.  Maybe it will be a slower process than you thought.  Maybe you’ll need to make a series of smaller changes instead of massively changing everything at once.  The key is to persist.  Believe in yourself and the person you want to be and go do the work that is required to get there.

Be true to yourself and all else will take care of itself.

Plan, prep, cook, and eat home-made meals with your family. Every day.

I cannot possibly reiterate this sentiment often enough.  This simple act is so intimately tied to our health and wellness as human beings; to our integration into our environments and communities through food sourcing; and to our relationships with those closest to us.

1. Plan = Think about what dinner is going to be.  What will the protein be?  What are your sides or accompaniments?  What recipe are you going to use?  What ingredients do you need to buy in order to pull this off?
2. Prep = Find your ingredients and get them ready to cook with.  This means going to the freezer, the garden, the butcher, grocer, farmer, produce stand or farmer’s market.  Then take that stuff home, clean it, and cut it up.
3. Cook = Use fire or heat to make your food ingredients edible while also imparting flavor and building texture.  If you’re not good at this, start with simple stuff like boiling or roasting.  Cookbooks and YouTube are great learning resources.
4. Eat = This is the part where you sit down and chew your food slowly while talking and laughing with your family.  Happy, relaxed eating aids digestion and absorption of nutrients.  Plus, you get to save the leftovers for breakfast or lunch tomorrow!

I hope you are taking this lockdown as an opportunity to deepen your food hygiene practices at home.  And as you are doing so, remember to keep it simple: Just plan, prep, cook, and eat home-made meals with your family every day.

This one, again, comes out of conversations I’ve been having with my clients.  The schedule exercise is something I’ve re-visited from time to time whenever there is a major change in lifestyle, such as a change in job or living situation.  With the current COVID-19 lockdowns all around the world, this exercise might be a useful thing for everyone to do.

Basically, you just write down your idealized vision of a perfect day or week (or use a calendar app).  The point of the exercise is to say, “what if?”  If you could plan the perfectly efficient and productive day or week for yourself, what would it look like?  Where would you fit in all the things you need to get done, while still making room for all things you like to do or must do for health & happiness?

There are 3 major concepts I want to talk about with this exercise:

1. Time Blocks
2. Reasonable Expectations
3. Focused, Sequential Single-Tasking

TIME BLOCKS

You’re not trying to plan our every detail to the minute, or even get too far into the weeds with distinctions such as, “check email 20 minutes, text messages 5 minutes, pay bills 20 minutes, business calls 15 minutes”.  You could get away with simply a 1-hour block called “office work”.  The point is to create a general sense of what time of day you will be most focused or most efficient at certain essential tasks, and then to block off a time period for that set of activities.  The minutia will differ from day to day.

Some people are more focused on communications with others in the morning, but need alone time in the afternoons.  Maybe you need 100% focus for a certain type of work that you will only get when the kids are taking their nap.  Ok, this sounds like I’m talking about myself here, but maybe you’re a true night owl (not me) and you need to do a workout in the evening before dinner and then write your novel for 2 hours after dinner.  You know that about yourself, so plan the time blocks accordingly.

REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS

One of the benefits of this exercise is that you quickly realize if the 20 things you hope to get done every day before breakfast are actually realistic or not.  This helps to reign-in your expectations for a day’s work, and ultimately to make you more efficient and productive when you do get down to doing that work, because you’re not worrying over all the other things you could be doing with that time.

You’ve done the exercise. You’ve visualized what you’re going to do and when.  You’ve thought deeply about how much time you need for each essential daily activity and you’ve made a space for it.  Now you don’t have to worry about having enough time for things because you’ve already done your due diligence in thinking through how much time those things need, finding a place for them, and disposing of certain concerns if there simply is no time in your schedule for them to occur because higher-priority things have pushed them out of the way.  You’ve done your reality check.

FOCUSED, SEQUENTIAL, SINGLE-TASKING

We’ve talked about how to do the exercise (writing a schedule in time blocks and doing the mental work of prioritization), so now let’s talk about the benefits of it.  With a vision of your ‘perfect’ schedule captured on paper (or in app), you are now able to get down to work on one thing at a time in a highly-focused and productive manner.

You’ve put boundaries between things.  You’ve allotted tasks the time they require.  You’ve eliminated non-essential activities.  You’ve planned time for all your personal, professional, and family needs.  Now you are able to focus on one thing for it’s given time period, to do it well, and to move on to the next thing; one thing at a time.  This benefits your productivity because you are not distracted by worries over all the other things (they will each come in their given time), and your energy is not scattered trying to balance several sets of tasks at once.

Here is an example of a scheduling exercise I did recently.  It’s sloppy, quick, and non-binding.  You can see that it isn’t perfect, and I’m probably not following it to the T right now (but pretty close).  if I wasn’t writing this blog post, I wouldn’t be sharing it with anyone.

I start with things I know with certainty, like what time I like to wake up and how long my morning routines will take.  Then I mov into the previously-chaotic late morning and mid-day, planning around the new restrictions in our situation and accounting for the things I need to do.

Finally, I block out the end-of-day essentials that allow us to get the kids and ourselves to bed on time so that the next morning will go smoothly.

With this plan written down, I may never have to look at it again.  Just by doing the exercise, I have internalized the priorities and planning considerations that went through my mind when I was making it.  Still, I can look back at it a couple times in the first week or so and see how things are lining-up.  If I have a particularly crazy day, I can look at this and say, “Where did I go wrong?”  (Or,  “Were my expectations too ambitious?”).  After a day that went perfectly, I can also reflect on how it aligned with the plan and the thought that went into that plan.

Do this now.  Do this often.  Every time you do it you will get better at it.  It works.